i wish i were, lover

where does the heart go when it's sad.

why does my face fall and my chest brood.

a heavy stone presses down on my brittle body.

waves of despair roll and wash over me.

i shall soon break, for i cannot bend so far.

i wish i could withstand your heavy doses of rage,

and meet your fire with the perfect rinse of water.

i love you despite your web of dark entangled fury that has engulfed me.

in another lifetime, perhaps i’d be consumed. but this one is far too important to me.

for earth will soon burn, drown, and disintegrate our filth to rebirth itself.

i wish my voice could fill a canyon and my motion could hypnotize a cobra.

i wish my soul felt known, at least by me. i wish my ego would relinquish control.

i wish my love was as consistent and trustworthy as a locked chest. you could put anything inside it without fear of it being lost or stolen, or damaged.

but i ebb and flow with the tide, and have no good sense for why. i would consume you one day and refuse you the next. i cannot ask you to understand, and i don’t expect you to drift with me.

i pick me a part and tap the tiny hammer against the rigid metals. bend! bend but do not break!

will you conform to what they want? someone? anyone?

no one.

for you?

for me?

yes you.

well, i don’t know what i want.

let's say you’re the last man on earth, what will you be?

honest.

sure, but how will you know when you’re being honest?

i might not know when i am, but i will certainly know when i'm not.

well, ok then.

sorrowful night.