do i have enough time to live

time is it’s own dimension, which we can only perceive linearly. however, it is infinite, and all of time happens at the same time, all the time. time is not promised, persuaded, or particularly pessimistic. it is the unbothered ruler of your day, night, evening, trip around the sun, multiple trips around the sun, any and all specific and general stretches of existence.

a humans perception is but one image captured through a specific lens which can only capture what it was designed to. not every color is recognized by this lens, nor every current moment, and not all dimensions of every object can be captured. in a 3d world this camera preserves 2d renditions.

the cameras images are not lies, and they are not wrong. they are merely limited and subjective. as is the human being in their perception of the universe, each other, and themselves.

limited, and subjective. every so often does a curious scoundrel attempt to break the bounds of that divinely dissatisfying design and take in a new perspective. Ye persecuted artists, carry on!

if only humans could see past their clouded eyes, and angry hearts: they are infinite wells of creativity and love. so much so that they cannot impress themselves, they will never be enough for themselves, and are rarely enough for each other.

of course we fight and rage.

we are blind folded sparks of pure energy and light. is it too bright for us or are we too scared to remove the cloth? the frustration is enough to make one implode, or snuff out the flame so as not to endure the heat as it rises and builds in pressure. every molecule speeds up into chaos until the reckless abandon of temper turns to a violent, ceaseless storm.

that storm ahead is always there.

if i could close my eyes and see colors bending into light and refracting off of waters and gases, i would never open them. i long to envision a flora and fauna of another land, time, and galaxy.

and yet, i haven’t seen my whole earth. and even if i had it wouldn’t be enough to continue seeing new ones. it will never be enough until i let go of longing.

i long not to long.

i yearn not to yearn,

and i crave not to crave.

but that burn pushes me forward! without the thirst i would not seek water. i would not come upon a waterfall or a river, and then i might never know that a creature could swim.

so i’ll take my hunger with me, and let it reside in my sidecar. for i am the driver, but you, dear passenger, are the reason i have somewhere to go.

in order to be free i must first free myself. ah me, everywhere i go there i am.

thoughtful night.