h u m a n i t y 

inside my head an invisible nail jams into the back of my eye. 

inside my chest a hole exists, a strong sucking force eats at any debris discarded in the general vicinity. it’s a vacuum, or a blackhole. 

my stomach hosts a shivering dog that quakes at every sound blurted in a 5 mile radius. 

and the pressure is getting to me.

the pressing of my skin against time

the pressing of my eyes against the screen

the pressing of expectation, assumption

the pressing of the bombs, wounds, hunger 

the pressing of brutality

the pressing of humanity 

it’s so silly “humanity” is always used with an optimistic and rather uplifting connotation. as if our humanity is not the same source of the pain and suffering we impose on others, and ourselves. 

ah, the humanity! the humanity in the way we use the word humanity. the folly of it, big blunder. 

humanity, insanity, potato shomato, it’s all the shame to me.

what i have experienced of it, more than enough. goodbye, thanks. keep the change, i’ll not have any more. oh no please, no need for seconds here, quite fool! thank you.. 

say no one was watching

could i crawl out of this helmet? meet the eye of another one steeped in humanity? 

could i love again? 

could i stop the inevitable bleeding heart again?how many times can a soul be torn before it turns to scraps?will the vacuum black-hole take me with it this time?could things turn out differently if i do something different than i’ve done before and let go of oh i don’t know fear and do something different and finally feel free from memory and do something different like live on a commune or a farm of some sort somewhere with food where we do things different and it’s pain free?

does the patriarchy exist on the farm? 

does capitalism start and stop with the borders?

does humanity know the aliens r us? 

eh, let’s dance.